my first night out West
all around Jackson six million acres of grass and juniper and houses were burning
the mountains kept the fire out but not the smoke
so the sky wore a fur coat of brown ash
back in Ocean City we had slept
over the flooded streets and under a sky of methane dark yellow like leather
with no stars, we wished upon falling satellites
and night after night i wished for Aster
who was alive then.
before i knew to wish that the sickles in their veins would swim ceaselessly like sharks
i just wished to trace their ribs with my fingertips
to feel their teeth against my collarbone
and i must have picked the right satellite
since one night beneath that yellow sky i learned the touch of their skin
the sound of their breath
my heart still bled like tar back then
and so when Aster moved to Jackson i followed
the second night we didn’t even bother to look up
and perhaps it would have been the same all summer
but the evening of the eleventh day it rained
Aster loved rain
and for that night i did too
and as the water stole smoke from the sky and dragged black soil screaming to the sea
we watched
falling asleep against the window
against each other
when i woke it was still dark
but the storm was broken
the sky shorn of its fur and skinned of its leather
so the raw flesh of night bled through
today in silence i would cup hands around such a treasure and keep it for myself
but that night was back before my heart ran out of blood
and before Aster’s filled with too much of it
so when i looked up the person i was and no longer recognize
thought first of someone else
Aster, Aster, i whispered, shaking them
Look at all the diamonds.